The need to belong is a potent power. Evolution has programmed us to hunt the corporate of others for the easy cause that there’s security in numbers. As early as childhood, we uncover that it’s extra enjoyable to play with playmates. As adolescents, our identification formation is inextricably tied to our affiliation with peer teams. Interplay with friends hones our capability to socialize, which prepares us within the institution of an intimate and secure relationship.
Nonetheless, not all makes an attempt to belong have favorable outcomes. Some result in rejection. In truth, ostracism can happen in relation to 1’s friends. And in romantic relationships, this may occasionally additionally occur, whether or not it’s the results of a break up, or it’s throughout courtship the place the rejection happens.
Rejection truly registers the identical mind scan as bodily ache. That is how agonizing it may be. After we expertise this rejection, we generally attempt to compensate for it by unexpectedly searching for acceptance elsewhere, simply so we could erase the ache instantly. However that is merely an emotion-driven tendency. The need to take away this sense of painful rejection could power us to affix teams no matter what their nature is. Or we could enter into meaningless romantic involvements, typically to our detriment.
Ache is the inevitable consequence of rejection. Denying the ache or repressing it might lead us to commit unexpected acts that we could remorse in a while. There isn’t a different approach to cope with it than to face the ache and expertise it totally. By doing this, we’re permitting our feelings to run their pure course. And as soon as they’ve subsided, our judgment will not be overpowered by feelings. Present process this course of will assist us keep away from making irrational choices.